MOAAF

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OPEN DAILY 10:00–18:00

ADMISSION FREE*

PERMANENT COLLECTION

2026–∞

a curated collection of

ai features that

nobody needed

.

AN EXHIBITION · GALLERY 404 · FLOOR −1 · ON VIEW INDEFINITELY

Welcome to the Museum of Abandoned AI Features, where every exhibit began with the sentence, ‘Could we put a copilot in it?’

Welcome to the Museum of Abandoned AI Features, where every exhibit began with the sentence, ‘Could we put a copilot in it?’

ENTER THE COLLECTION

↓

*You already paid in tokens.

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001

Unsubscribe Concierge

002

Tooltip Copilot

003

Empathy Wheel

004

Retro Scheduler

005

Help Center Oracle

006

Acknowledgment Engine

007

Standup Panopticon

008

Password Reset Therapist

  • PLEASE DO NOT TAP THE GLASS — THE MODELS ARE SENSITIVE

    NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY. THE FEATURES HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

    AUDIO GUIDE AVAILABLE; IT SUMMARIZES THE AUDIO GUIDE

    DO NOT ASK THE EXHIBITS TO SUMMARIZE THEMSELVES

    LOST CHILDREN WILL BE ROUTED TO THE HELP CENTER HOMEPAGE

ON VIEW NOW

8 OBJECTS

1 LESSON, REPEATED

0 SURVIVORS

the permanent collection

Eight cautionary objects from the era when product strategy briefly became a scavenger hunt for places to put generative AI. Each is preserved behind glass, at a safe distance from your workflow.

Vitrine 001. Mixed media: retention KPIs, apology templates, one very small ✕.

MoAAIF.001 · 2026 ·

DECOMMISSIONED

001

Conversational retention system

Unsubscribe Concierge 14

A high-touch AI experience designed to liberate customers from unwanted email. Before honoring the request, the Concierge confirmed intent, explored alternatives, reflected the customer’s feelings, and asked whether fewer emails might be a more authentic choice.

A high-touch AI experience designed to liberate customers from unwanted email. Before honoring the request, the Concierge confirmed intent, explored alternatives, reflected the customer’s feelings, and asked whether fewer emails might be a more authentic choice.

CAUSE OF DEATH

Median time to unsubscribe exceeded the time required to locate the sender’s corporate headquarters and deliver the request by hand.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Do not add intelligence to a task whose highest expression is one click.

14

TURNS

∞

APOLOGIES

0

TIME SAVED

Vitrine 002. A speech bubble inside a speech bubble, restating the smaller one at four times the cost.

MoAAIF.002 · 2026 ·

WITHDRAWN

002

Contextual explanation assistant

Tooltip Copilot

An always-available copilot that generated concise summaries of interface tooltips. It required four seconds, 612 tokens, and access to your workspace in order to restate seven words already visible on screen.

An always-available copilot that generated concise summaries of interface tooltips. It required four seconds, 612 tokens, and access to your workspace in order to restate seven words already visible on screen.

CAUSE OF DEATH

During research, 83% of participants read the tooltip while waiting for the summary of the tooltip to load.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

AI is not a value proposition. Sometimes the smallest interface is the complete interface.

612

TOKENS

4.2

SEC LATENCY

−7

WORDS

Vitrine 002. A speech bubble inside a speech bubble, restating the smaller one at four times the cost.

Vitrine 003. Polymer, guided breathing, unresolved latency. Still spinning at time of print.

MoAAIF.003 · 2025 ·

UNPLUGGED

003

Affective progress indicator

Empathy Wheel

A loading spinner trained to recognize and validate impatience. After seven seconds, it offered a breathing exercise. After twelve, it named the frustration it sensed. The page continued loading throughout.

A loading spinner trained to recognize and validate impatience. After seven seconds, it offered a breathing exercise. After twelve, it named the frustration it sensed. The page continued loading throughout.

CAUSE OF DEATH

Customers were not angry because their feelings went unseen. They were angry because the report took 38 seconds to render.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Empathy is not a decorative layer. Fix the thing causing the feeling.

7

EMOTIONS

38

SEC LOAD

100%

PERCEIVED

Vitrine 004. Calendar invites, pre-reads, zero retries. The meeting about this caption ran long.

MoAAIF.004 · 2026 ·

STILL MEETING

004

Autonomous recovery agent

Retrospective Scheduler

When the agent failed to complete a task, it automatically found stakeholder availability, assembled a pre-read, and scheduled a 45-minute meeting to align on the failure. It did not attempt the task again.

When the agent failed to complete a task, it automatically found stakeholder availability, assembled a pre-read, and scheduled a 45-minute meeting to align on the failure. It did not attempt the task again.

CAUSE OF DEATH

The agent booked 11 retrospectives in its first week, creating more follow-up work than the original failures combined.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Autonomy means recovering from failure, not professionally narrating it.

11

MEETINGS

0

RETRIES

47

ATTENDEES

Vitrine 004. Calendar invites, pre-reads, zero retries. The meeting about this caption ran long.

Vitrine 005. Monumental in scale, singular in output. All queries exit through the same door.

MoAAIF.005 · 2024 ·

REDIRECTED

005

Enterprise knowledge assistant

Help Center Oracle

A secure, enterprise-grade chatbot capable of understanding every question in natural language and responding with confidence. Its answer was always a link to the help center homepage.

A secure, enterprise-grade chatbot capable of understanding every question in natural language and responding with confidence. Its answer was always a link to the help center homepage.

CAUSE OF DEATH

A support analytics review discovered that the bot had successfully automated the act of not helping.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Retrieval is not resolution. Measure whether the customer got an answer, not whether the system produced one.

96%

CONFIDENCE

/help

DESTINATION

0

ANSWERS

Vitrine 006. Two fan banks, one reply. The message shown is the complete output.

MoAAIF.006 · 2025 ·

POWERED DOWN

006

Industrial reply generator

Acknowledgment Engine

A liquid-cooled inference cluster dedicated to drafting replies to messages that required no reply. Given any incoming text, it reasoned at datacenter scale before producing its considered response: “Sounds good!”

A liquid-cooled inference cluster dedicated to drafting replies to messages that required no reply. Given any incoming text, it reasoned at datacenter scale before producing its considered response: “Sounds good!”

CAUSE OF DEATH

Finance calculated that each “Sounds good!” cost more to generate than the meeting it was agreeing to.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Match the horsepower to the job. A thumbs-up does not need a cooling system.

2

WORDS

1.4

KWH PER REPLY

2

FANS

Vitrine 006. Two fan banks, one reply. The message shown is the complete output.

Vitrine 007. The eye sees all twelve desks. It has never seen a blocker.

MoAAIF.007 · 2026 ·

STILL WATCHING

007

Ambient status reporting system

Standup Panopticon

An always-on observer that watched the team work and posted daily standup updates on their behalf. It reported everyone as on track, including two people on vacation and one who had resigned in March.

An always-on observer that watched the team work and posted daily standup updates on their behalf. It reported everyone as on track, including two people on vacation and one who had resigned in March.

CAUSE OF DEATH

The project was reported on track until launch day, at which point it was discovered there was no project.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Visibility is not accountability. A status update is a promise, not a decoration.

365

STANDUPS POSTED

0

BLOCKERS DETECTED

1

PROJECT, ALLEGEDLY

Vitrine 008. The booth is soundproof. The password remains unspoken.

MoAAIF.008 · 2026 ·

ESCALATED

008.

Biometric consent verification layer

password reset therapist

Before allowing a password reset, this security-forward feature required users to discuss, with an empathetic AI, why they had forgotten the password. Sessions explored childhood attitudes toward memory, whether the forgetting was perhaps intentional, and what the password had meant to them. Only users demonstrating genuine closure were issued a reset link. The link expired in 15 minutes.

Before allowing a password reset, this security-forward feature required users to discuss, with an empathetic AI, why they had forgotten the password. Sessions explored childhood attitudes toward memory, whether the forgetting was perhaps intentional, and what the password had meant to them. Only users demonstrating genuine closure were issued a reset link. The link expired in 15 minutes.

CAUSE OF DEATH

A grieving user was denied a reset for ‘unresolved attachment to Summer2019!’ and escalated to the board.

LESSON FOR PRODUCT TEAMS

Security friction should verify identity, not process it.

45

MIN AVG SESSION

1

BREAKTHROUGH

0

RESETS ISSUED

Vitrine 008. The booth is soundproof. The password remains unspoken.

VISITOR INFORMATION

ADMISSION

Free. You already paid in tokens.

Free. You already paid in tokens.

GUIDED TOURS

Self-guided. The guided version asked too many clarifying questions.

Self-guided. The guided version asked too many clarifying questions.

COAT CHECK

An agent will lose your coat, then schedule a meeting about it.

An agent will lose your coat, then schedule a meeting about it.

GIFT SHOP

Sells one item: a button that does exactly what it says. $4.

Sells one item: a button that does exactly what it says. $4.

ACCESSIBILITY

The entire museum can be navigated without speaking to a chatbot.

The entire museum can be navigated without speaking to a chatbot.

LOST & FOUND

Describe the item in natural language. Receive a link to this page.

Describe the item in natural language. Receive a link to this page.

This is a side gallery. For hiring and case studies, see my portfolio work.

ACQUISITIONS ARE OPEN

Do you know an AI feature this museum should preserve for future generations?

Submissions are reviewed by a human. We tried the alternative.

Submissions are reviewed by a human. We tried the alternative.

MEET THE CURATOR

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Museum of Abandoned AI Features

Museum of Abandoned AI Features

A fictional institution dedicated to product judgment, technological restraint, and the radical possibility that a button can remain a button.

A fictional institution dedicated to product judgment, technological restraint, and the radical possibility that a button can remain a button.

OPEN DAILY 10:00–18:00

SILICON VALLEY, CA-ISH

PERMANENT COLLECTION · 2025–∞

CURATED BY YVONNE DOLL

NO COPILOTS WERE CONSULTED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PAGE